A List of 10 Random Things

Or, as I like to call them: grasshopper thoughts. It’s Friday, my lovelies. Humor me.

The List:

1) I am an action hero on the inside. One of my favorite things about writing is that I get to be a badass motherfucker via my characters, without ever having to give up ice cream or break a bone or something. (Also, anyone want to put together an Action Hero Fitness Plan? I’d buy that faster than the infomercial host could say “But wait, there’s more!”)

2) Microsoft Word just autocorrected “bad ass mother fucker” to “badass motherfucker,” and it made me giggle on the inside. Oh, Microsoft, thank you for making my profanity grammatically correct.

3) Any Action Hero Fitness Plans should include watching cheesy, gory action flicks like The Expendables, for use as motivational tools. Complete three workouts successfully? Watch a movie.

4) …maybe The Plan should also be hosted by Jason Statham. I’m just sayin’.

5) Whenever a male movie star that I admire does something generous, silly or truly brave, my first thought is always “sweet boy.” No matter their age. Sorry, guys. In a similar vein, admired female movie stars get a “that’s my girl!” Because, you know, I obviously have a deep connection and friendship with these people. Via Twitter.

And at the ripe old age of 28, I’m…uh…matronly? STOP LAUGHING. Damn kids.

6) I’ve recently become obsessed with the word “lumineer,” in part due to the catchy music of The Lumineers, and in part due to the fact that I like to obsess over words. A search of the Great Oracle of Life reveals the Lumineers are brand-name dental veneers. This is a considerably less glamorous role for that word than I expected.

7) I also like the word “resonate.”

8) I adopted a word once. Uglyography.

Did you know you could adopt words? I can’t find my original “agency,” but I came across this one, which is a children’s charity based in the UK.

9) I’d like to think a lumineer is some sort of mythical creature. Somewhere between a fairy, elf and ethereal spirit, existing simultaneously in our world and someplace Other.

Dude. I claim this. DIBS, I SAY!

10) I really do love action movies. It’s quite therapeutic watching people shoot the living shit out of each other. Knowing that it’s all fake, of course. Damn. I’m not actually homicidal. Or a psychopath. (Nice save. “Write yourself out of this one, Joan Wilder.”)

11) OH LOOK A DISTRACTION:

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